I still remember the day I found out that I could bark like a dog. Not just any bark, but a realistic bark. Since then, this little quirk has followed me like a shadow. "Bark!" here and "Arf" there. And I've accepted the role and taken it seriously at times.
I still remember the day when I first watched Alice in Wonderland. Just another Disney movie about a girl minding her own business on a riverbank and winds up chasing a white rabbit down a hole. Tumbling and tossing into the Wonderland, Alice finds herself without a lot of control of the situations around her. One wonders at the moral of the story and whether it's actually more than just a dream.
I still remember the day when I first chased a rabbit on Dordt's campus, barking like a dog. It definitely attracted attention and caught my friends off guard.
What is my proverbial rabbit? What am I chasing? (If you know me, it's not a hard question) But the conclusion I've already come to is that I don't have a lot of control of what goes on around me. But I want control. I'm not a controlling person by nature. But when you want something so badly and you get curious, you tend to put aside what really matters and pour all of yourself into that endeavor. Passion is good but it works better if it's paired with some sense of how to do it right. I must not have it right yet. I must not have the skills.
I still feel helpless in this Winterland called Iowa.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Perspective on 'Patience'
Expectations: I set mine high and then work my hardest to achieve those expectations. but i'm really hard on myself and therefore i get impatient
Example: The example I always use is my devotional life. I have the expectation that twice a day is minimum for devotions. So, let's say I'm feeling particularly spiritual. If so, I set an expectation that every day I will do my devotions twice a day. Let's say that my spiritual feeling dies off fairly quickly and I skip a devotion at night. My patience does not tolerate this. I must be completely devoted to devotions immediately after I promise myself (and God) that I will follow through.
Conclusions: My expectations are high (perfect devotional life) and my impatience is high (skipping one day = damned to hell). But setting high expectations is a good thing. It gives me something to shoot for. What I really need to understand is that growth is a process. It's not an overnight activity where the next morning muscles are bulging or bank accounts are overflowing. This may be a general statement, but all good things take time to achieve. If they're good, then they're probably worth working towards.
God could send Jesus back right now and everyone would be perfect. There would be no more need for setting expectations. But that's the whole point: we need to seek it, knowing the promises that He has of perfection in the new creation.
Ultimate Conclusion: Sometimes our expectations do not line up with God's expectations. Perhaps the reason I (we) get impatient is because God wants me (us) to choose what He wants for me (us), not what I (we) want for ourselves. Take on one of His desires for you and patience will come.
Example: The example I always use is my devotional life. I have the expectation that twice a day is minimum for devotions. So, let's say I'm feeling particularly spiritual. If so, I set an expectation that every day I will do my devotions twice a day. Let's say that my spiritual feeling dies off fairly quickly and I skip a devotion at night. My patience does not tolerate this. I must be completely devoted to devotions immediately after I promise myself (and God) that I will follow through.
Conclusions: My expectations are high (perfect devotional life) and my impatience is high (skipping one day = damned to hell). But setting high expectations is a good thing. It gives me something to shoot for. What I really need to understand is that growth is a process. It's not an overnight activity where the next morning muscles are bulging or bank accounts are overflowing. This may be a general statement, but all good things take time to achieve. If they're good, then they're probably worth working towards.
God could send Jesus back right now and everyone would be perfect. There would be no more need for setting expectations. But that's the whole point: we need to seek it, knowing the promises that He has of perfection in the new creation.
Ultimate Conclusion: Sometimes our expectations do not line up with God's expectations. Perhaps the reason I (we) get impatient is because God wants me (us) to choose what He wants for me (us), not what I (we) want for ourselves. Take on one of His desires for you and patience will come.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Opportunity Costs
Opportunity costs is an economics term. In order to gain one thing, you inevitably must sacrifice something else. For example, if you price shop at several locations, you save money but you sacrifice time. Also, if you want to invest in a C.D. or mutual fund, you sacrifice the ability to access your money freely to pay for current purchases.
I believe there are opportunity costs to most things, if not everything.
Tonight in the Humble Bean, I was challenged with opportunity costs. A friend wanted to have a meaningful discussion about something that had been on his mind. This was fine with me and I was happy to have a chat. But the ENTIRE time, my mind was elsewhere. No, it's not the early stages of A.D.D. It's just that I'm so wrapped up in my own crap that I couldn't sacrifice my "mental time" for the sake of his situation.
I don't want to pass the blame, but the events of today just consumed my mind and I couldn't let it go. Plus, there was visual stimulation directly tied to what I was thinking about. So I was obviously distracted. It was very hard to turn my eyes and my mind away.
After submitting this post, I decided to listen to The Calling and as I hit the play button, iTunes chose to play "Surrender". So I added the lyrics later but they fit best here.
"Now she's calling
And it hurts me to go
Away from my favorite addiction
There's no way that she'll ever know..."
It is like an addiction for me, and probably for most of us, to put aside our own situation when someone is in need of our attention. There's no way my friend would ever had known I wasn't fully invested in the conversation because I was able to fake it but I definitely felt guilty.
It's not like I didn't know about my focusing problems before today. The main difference is that this time I realized that by sacrificing for someone else, they in turn feel better about sacrificing for you.
This needs to happen everywhere with every relationship: with a spouse, g/f, b/f, friends, parents, siblings, God and even the earth.
What can you sacrifice for the benefit of someone or something else?
I believe there are opportunity costs to most things, if not everything.
Tonight in the Humble Bean, I was challenged with opportunity costs. A friend wanted to have a meaningful discussion about something that had been on his mind. This was fine with me and I was happy to have a chat. But the ENTIRE time, my mind was elsewhere. No, it's not the early stages of A.D.D. It's just that I'm so wrapped up in my own crap that I couldn't sacrifice my "mental time" for the sake of his situation.
I don't want to pass the blame, but the events of today just consumed my mind and I couldn't let it go. Plus, there was visual stimulation directly tied to what I was thinking about. So I was obviously distracted. It was very hard to turn my eyes and my mind away.
After submitting this post, I decided to listen to The Calling and as I hit the play button, iTunes chose to play "Surrender". So I added the lyrics later but they fit best here.
"Now she's calling
And it hurts me to go
Away from my favorite addiction
There's no way that she'll ever know..."
It is like an addiction for me, and probably for most of us, to put aside our own situation when someone is in need of our attention. There's no way my friend would ever had known I wasn't fully invested in the conversation because I was able to fake it but I definitely felt guilty.
It's not like I didn't know about my focusing problems before today. The main difference is that this time I realized that by sacrificing for someone else, they in turn feel better about sacrificing for you.
This needs to happen everywhere with every relationship: with a spouse, g/f, b/f, friends, parents, siblings, God and even the earth.
What can you sacrifice for the benefit of someone or something else?
A Feelin' Like That
A recent conversation was definitely fun because we talked about those times when it's almost like deja vu. You can absolutely sense that you are in a different place or time from the past and you've already been there. I suppose this could be a sad occurrence if the previous time/place had depressing events. But the memories we shared during this talk were fun times.
Here are some of my highlights:
Summer of '04?
I wish I could remember the exact year which might add credibility to my story. But the memories remain (haha) This summer I was living at home in Kansas. I was asked to help Brent Koops do his painting work on a particularly large house. So I did, not knowing what was going to happen to me. If it was '04, then it was the summer after my first year of college; the year in which I flunked out. During this summer I was writing an appeal letter, which ended up being 17 pages long, single spaced. So I probably wasn't in the best of moods until I started painting. It wasn't the painting or the heat which made me happy. It was the music. Just a simple radio with the dinky antenna and no bass whatsoever. We listened to country music for a week. In high school, I didn't listen to it because country wasn't 'cool'. But I fell in love with it. I think it came at the perfect time. I needed country music to fill the gap I was feeling with regard to my education. I felt like something was missing and country was a perfect fit. I've been in love with it ever since.
The Shack
It's our homemade hang-out. It's literally in the middle of nowhere; as in, not even cell phone signals can find it. Despite the rambunctious nature of the activities mainly done at the shack, it's overall feeling is still incredible. Bonfire, beer and babes are what most frequenters to the shack say are its main ideals. I thoroughly enjoyed the parties and the 'camaradarie' and the atmosphere, but I also enjoyed the quiet moments.
I've spent time on the front porch of this building into which I've poured several man-hours not to mention the blood and sweat. The completed building is a place of solitude on weekdays. With miles of scenery to the south, deer and other prarie animals make their living. After a hard day's work on the shack, the stillness makes it all worth it, especially contrasted with the wild weekends. Someday I'll take my guitar out there and see what flows out of it.
What 'feelings' do you get? I'd like to hear about them.
Here are some of my highlights:
Summer of '04?
I wish I could remember the exact year which might add credibility to my story. But the memories remain (haha) This summer I was living at home in Kansas. I was asked to help Brent Koops do his painting work on a particularly large house. So I did, not knowing what was going to happen to me. If it was '04, then it was the summer after my first year of college; the year in which I flunked out. During this summer I was writing an appeal letter, which ended up being 17 pages long, single spaced. So I probably wasn't in the best of moods until I started painting. It wasn't the painting or the heat which made me happy. It was the music. Just a simple radio with the dinky antenna and no bass whatsoever. We listened to country music for a week. In high school, I didn't listen to it because country wasn't 'cool'. But I fell in love with it. I think it came at the perfect time. I needed country music to fill the gap I was feeling with regard to my education. I felt like something was missing and country was a perfect fit. I've been in love with it ever since.
The Shack
It's our homemade hang-out. It's literally in the middle of nowhere; as in, not even cell phone signals can find it. Despite the rambunctious nature of the activities mainly done at the shack, it's overall feeling is still incredible. Bonfire, beer and babes are what most frequenters to the shack say are its main ideals. I thoroughly enjoyed the parties and the 'camaradarie' and the atmosphere, but I also enjoyed the quiet moments.
I've spent time on the front porch of this building into which I've poured several man-hours not to mention the blood and sweat. The completed building is a place of solitude on weekdays. With miles of scenery to the south, deer and other prarie animals make their living. After a hard day's work on the shack, the stillness makes it all worth it, especially contrasted with the wild weekends. Someday I'll take my guitar out there and see what flows out of it.
What 'feelings' do you get? I'd like to hear about them.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Death and Taxes
The title for this entry was based only on what was in my mind and what I wanted to write about. But, as I sit at home now, I am watching the end of "Stranger Than Fiction", a tale of a woman's novel which happens to be the same tale of a middle-aged, IRS agent. The novel's title: "Death And Taxes". I found it to be highly coincidental and amusing. Perhaps the same is true of you.
Anyway, I point out the following for several reasons, none of which are clearly defined in my own mind.
Ever heard of inheritance taxes? If you bequeath property to a loved one after you death, this tax is levied against your property. If you've had this in your own situation, then you know what I'm talking about. The main reason behind this tax is primarily the same reason behind most other taxes: you pay to gain the right to own property or money.
Sometimes money or property is given before the person dies. There can be transfers up to $11,000 from any two people without incurring taxes. However, because it is done so near to death, some states assume that the reason behind the transfer is to avoid estate or inheritance taxes.
I understand that money is and always will be a part of our society. I understand that everyone is affected by sin and falls short in many ways. I also understand that if governments didn't assume that their citizens were dishonest, many citizens would take advantage of their negligence.
I just wish we could trust people more.
Anyway, I point out the following for several reasons, none of which are clearly defined in my own mind.
Ever heard of inheritance taxes? If you bequeath property to a loved one after you death, this tax is levied against your property. If you've had this in your own situation, then you know what I'm talking about. The main reason behind this tax is primarily the same reason behind most other taxes: you pay to gain the right to own property or money.
Sometimes money or property is given before the person dies. There can be transfers up to $11,000 from any two people without incurring taxes. However, because it is done so near to death, some states assume that the reason behind the transfer is to avoid estate or inheritance taxes.
I understand that money is and always will be a part of our society. I understand that everyone is affected by sin and falls short in many ways. I also understand that if governments didn't assume that their citizens were dishonest, many citizens would take advantage of their negligence.
I just wish we could trust people more.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Proverbial Verbosity
"Somewhere Between Raising Hell & Amazing Grace" was too long for the web address but I wanted to share it as it accurately describes where I'm at and who I am. It's from a country song by Big & Rich and it's just a great song.
"Proverbial Verbosity", however, describes why I write. Here's why:
1) Proverbs: a collection of moral sayings and counsels forming a book of canonical Jewish and Christian Scripture. I hope to contribute some things I've learned and am learning to the greater blogging community and hopefully THE WORLD! After taking GEN-300 and a prophets class at Dordt, it seems the only natural response is to help people in a way that God would want. So, this is one way I hope to do that.
2) Verbosity: (a) containing more words than necessary (b) given to wordiness. I hope to explore my creativity, word usage and persuasive technique. I I plan to do a lot of writing in my life. Books, music, poetry, chapels, lectures, etc. I may be spreading myself thin within the realm of writing but at least I've established that God wants me to write and use it for His glory.
So, here's to God!
IN HIM
THRU HIM
FOR HIM
"Proverbial Verbosity", however, describes why I write. Here's why:
1) Proverbs: a collection of moral sayings and counsels forming a book of canonical Jewish and Christian Scripture. I hope to contribute some things I've learned and am learning to the greater blogging community and hopefully THE WORLD! After taking GEN-300 and a prophets class at Dordt, it seems the only natural response is to help people in a way that God would want. So, this is one way I hope to do that.
2) Verbosity: (a) containing more words than necessary (b) given to wordiness. I hope to explore my creativity, word usage and persuasive technique. I I plan to do a lot of writing in my life. Books, music, poetry, chapels, lectures, etc. I may be spreading myself thin within the realm of writing but at least I've established that God wants me to write and use it for His glory.
So, here's to God!
IN HIM
THRU HIM
FOR HIM
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